A blog of occasionals.

Katherine D 26/9/23 Katherine D 26/9/23

Listening

Reading

Books:

I finished a lot of books lately. Mostly because I deleted my Twitter account. Or X, as it’s now called. I feel so much calmer now that I’m not wasting hours of my day arguing with strangers on the internet about complete nonsense. So. I finished two more Sally Hepworth books, The Mother-in-Law and The Good Sister, both great page turners that I read in a couple of sittings. Also read James Scott Bell’s book, How to Write Short Stories which was a good refresher. The second half of the book was short stories and one of them, Common Denominator by John D MacDonald published in 1951, reminded me that I want to read more classic science fiction short stories so I’ve been looking for a good anthology. I also read The Villain Edit, a memoir by a former Beachelor contestant who was one of the villains of her season. I had to google a lot of the drama and past contestants to make sense of the stories. I didn’t realise this was a memoir when I started but it was fine. I’d still love to read a book going deep into the experiences of people who get the villain edit and what it does to their lives. That would be a great story.

Articles:

Ages ago, when I first got onto Twitter, Naomi Wolf was one of the first people I looked up. I’d been impressed, years before, by her first book, The Beauty Myth, although less so by the follow-up, Fire With Fire, which seemed to mostly be about how difficult it was to be a best-selling, internationally famous feminist. I was surprised to see she was mostly posting pictures of clouds with captions like “SEE THESE CLOUDS? NOT LIKE THE CLOUDS WE USED TO GET IN THE OLD DAYS. THESE ARE BAD CLOUDS,” and realised something very odd had happened to Naomi Wolf. All this to say, I very much enjoyed this article by Helen Lewis about Naomi Klein’s new book, which discusses the experience of being continually mistaken for Naomi Wolf. The Atlantic

Watching

I’ve been rewatching The Rings of Power just because I love the immersive feel of it.

Listening

I’m listening to the Girls Next Level podcast where Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt react to episodes of their former reality show, Girls Next Door, in obsessive detail. And I mean obsessive. Sometimes it takes them two hours to talk through a 25 minute episode. I like hearing them deconstruct the experience of being turned into a reality show and the darkness of the Playboy world. It’s also great hearing them explain the olden days of the early 2000s to their listenings (“Dial up internet was this thing where…”).

Katherine D 7/9/23 Katherine D 7/9/23

All Germed Up

I unpublished my first book last week. There were a few editing errors that always irritated me, and I never really liked the title, so down it came to be re-edited and popped back up. It should have been a quick process. It wasn't because I live with a family of germbags and we've all had colds. One of those ones that's not too debilitating but just hangs on and on until you just want to shout at it, like Oliver Cromwell, "In the name of God, go!"

On Monday, everyone was sick. On Tuesday, the youngest was well enough to go to an appointment with me, and the other two stayed at home with Grandma. On Wednesday, everyone was well enough to go to school! Hooray! Editing was done. On Wednesday afternoon, everyone arrived at the school gate complaining they felt tired and sick. Eldest was pale, middle one was achy, and the youngest was just along for the ride. Boo! Thursday, everyone at home again. Middle and Youngest feel better. Friday: Youngest throws up all over her bed. Eldest still sick. Middle child miraculously not sick. Grandma arrives to take the oldest to school.

Amongst all that, I got the book re-edited, I think. Have to do another read-through because sometimes Grammarly goes a bit comma-happy and starts sprinkling them around like rain after a drought. Need to check that.

This morning, I decided to quickly edit my website because how hard can that be? Two hours later, I was staring at a wasteland where my website used to be, shaking and muttering, "The horror... the horror". Managed to sort that out. Probably. I have a new page on the site for resources which I'll continue to add to slowly. It's a work in progress, like escaping the germ warfare.

Katherine D 6/7/23 Katherine D 6/7/23

What I’m Reading: Sally Hepworth

I’m always late to cultural moments. I haven’t watched White Lotus. I’ve never seen Squid Games. I subscribe to about four podcasts but I only listen regularly to two. I’m what you’d call a late adopter. Last week I had a good time watching Dad’s Army on Britbox (for the millionth time). I’ve just discovered that I really enjoy Leo Tolstoy. I considered watching Fleabag but decided I might get to it next year. That’s how late I am.

As a late adopter, it happens to me constantly that I’m wandering through life, blithely unaware of an author’s existence, and then bam! I see them everywhere, on every bookshelf, and everyone’s already read them.

This is what just happened to me with Sally Hepworth. I didn’t know about them until last weekend when I was at the shops, went to browse the book section, and there was an entire wall of her books staring at me. How did I never notice them before they reached critical bookshelf mass? I have no idea.

I bought The Younger Wife, started it on Sunday and finished it on Monday. And it was good. Like a lovely bath of domestic suspense. I immediately downloaded all her other books and started reading. I’m onto The Soulmate now and had to stop myself reading through the night because I had to get about and child wrangle in the morning. It’s good too.

I’m so pleased I finally found her books and that I’m a late adopter because now I have a small pile of them to get through. Finding a new author to glom makes me one happy reader. Being late has its advantages.

Katherine D 19/6/23 Katherine D 19/6/23

I’m fine.

It all begins with an idea.

I’m not generally a hypochondriac but I outdid myself this weekend.

I noticed my thumb had gone numb, just near the middle joint. You’re not supposed to Google, I know that. Obviously, I googled anyway (of course I did) and immediately realised that I had definitely just developed a serious case of carpal tunnel.

While I was deciding this, my thumb got worse. Now it was numb all over. This was strange because I didn’t think carpal tunnel developed that quickly. Clearly, I was special. I did more googling. Couldn’t find anything about rapid-onset carpal tunnel, but there had to be a first for everything. I was probably going to end up in a medical journal, Carpal Tunnel Weekly or Trapped Nerve Fanciers. I took some neurofen. It didn’t work, and my thumb was getting more painful. It hurt to move it and it felt cold. I huddled under a blanket, but it didn’t help much. Luckily I could still use my other hand to work a search engine.

I googled some more and found a subreddit for carpal tunnel. I was definitely going to need some cortisone injections, maybe surgery down the line. I read that there’s a connection between high blood pressure and carpal tunnel. That was obviously what was causing this. I’d cracked this case wide open.

My thumb was a lot more uncomfortable by now. I was probably going to have to see my GP tomorrow. I try to avoid seeing doctors because they do outrageous things, like taking my blood pressure and shaking their heads sadly at me. There was nothing else for it this time, though. I was going to have to seek medical help. My thumb was still cold and it looked swollen.

That’s when I saw it. The hair elastic I had wrapped twice around my wrist not five minutes before I developed carpal tunnel. It was really digging into my flesh. I took it off and my thumb immediately felt better. And warmer as the blood flow I’d cut off started to reach my hand again.

So there it is. Rapid-onset forgetfulness with a side-serve of chronic Dr Google.

I’m very glad my carpal tunnel cleared up so well, though.

Katherine D 6/11/22 Katherine D 6/11/22

Less of that.

I'm on a diet. It's been two days, and the app I use to log everything I eat and my weight is very happy with me. "You've lost 0.3kg!" it said to me this morning. It seemed like a small amount to get excited about, but dieting is a world where things go wrong fast and get better slowly.

I tried one of those calorie calculators, which told me that, at my height (short), I can eat around 1400 calories a day if I want to lose weight. I tried increasing my height and it turns out that if I was six feet tall, I could eat nearly 2000 calories every day. So if you think about it, the main problem is height rather than width.

Losing weight is a controversial subject. For a woman. I don't think men ever get finger-wagged when they decide to lose weight. No one tells them that they shouldn't do it because they'll make all the other men feel bad. Men's bodies are an island, independent of themselves. Women have to make sure no one else feels bad.

I wasn't very motivated to lose weight until one day, I demonstrated to a family member how to use a blood pressure machine by using it on myself and the number was... let's just say it was so high that when I log my blood pressure, my Apple Health app says "Are you sure this number is correct?". It's quite high. It never used to be. Not until all this fatness turned up out of nowhere and cake.

So even though we're not supposed to want to lose weight now, I am. But not because of the blood pressure. It's the clothes. I can't fit into them. I looked into my wardrobe and saw dresses that are strangers to me now. I went op shopping and there was nothing on the racks I could even get my thigh into. I miss wearing my clothes. I miss shopping for new clothes without thinking, "Ooh, elasticated waistband, that could work." I feel like a better person would be motivated by health, not vanity, but it looks like I'm not that person.

There was a period in my life when was good at all this. Pre-children, obviously. I was an exercise person, I went to the gym. Now I am a person who glares resentfully at the gym charges on my bank statement each month. I need to use that thing.

First step: eating better. Second step: go to the gym where the exercise people are, become one of them and possibly become a bit smug about it. Third step: fit into clothes and, by happy coincidence, do not have a stroke from high blood pressure. Fourth step: cake? No. No cake. Fourth step: be very, very good and enjoy my new life sans elasticated waistbands. Let's call it a plan.

Katherine D 5/11/22 Katherine D 5/11/22

Live a little

I like to buy my books secondhand on AbeBooks. Not only because they're cheaper, although that is good, but because they often arrive having lived an interesting life.

Recently I bought The Best American Short Stories (1992 edition) and it came with a handwritten note on the first page. "Cate, I believe I remember you saying you like anthologies of short stories - hope you like this one. Merry Christmas, Liz. 1992". Straightforward and to the point. We'll never know if Liz remembered correctly, thoughh. Did Cate like anthologies of short stories? Maybe Cate actually said "Some people like anthologies of short stories, personally they make me feel sick to my stomach. They're the worst," or "I love anthologies of short stories but I haven't been able to read them since... the accident." I hope Cate liked it. I think she probably did. Although she got rid of it eventuallybut sometimes books are just transient pleasures.

I once bought a book only because someone had written on the first page, "Michael, I realise that nothing I do is ever appreciated but I couldn't help but make one last sordid effort..." and went on like that for a couple of paragraphs before ending "I hope you will appreciate this gift, if you can." I thought that was wonderful. Although I never read the book, because it looked boring. I feel Michael would have agreed with me on that. I can't even remember what it was now, which shows Michael and I were right. The note was better than the book.

The other thing I like about AbeBooks is you can search for an author and then have the results display from highest to lowest. This is how I discovered that Nora Ephron's book "I Know Nothing" can be bought for just $2.41 but if you'd like to own a first edition inscribed by the author with "For Bill Zwecks With best wishes and thanks Nora. Nora Ephron 9-16-11", well, that's going to cost you US $1,5000 plus shipping. I love an inscription but not $1500 worth of love. Mine is the cheaper kind.

It was because of Nora Ephron that I was on there in the first place. I watched a documentary about her by her son - which I thought was very good, especially the parts where everyone talked about how annoyed they were that she didn't tell them she was dying because she'd had no hesitation in telling everyone all their secrets - and went looking for my copy of Heartburn. I thought I'd lost it at first which is what sent me onto the internet in the first place. I hadn't lost it, though. It turned out to be hidden right at the bottom of a stack of Rumple of the Bailey's, which is no place for Nora Ephron to end up.

Since I was at AbeBooks anyway, though, I ended up ordering a Meghan Daum book. I just hope it turns up having really lived.

Katherine D 27/7/22 Katherine D 27/7/22

What I'm Reading: Remember Love - Mary Balogh

I don't read many real romance novels. Genre romance, that is. I found Mary Balogh because I'd run out of Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer books and was looking for something else that was Regency. I tried a few different authors but nothing was a good fit for me. I think I came to them from the wrong direction so they just didn’t feel right.

Then I found Mary Balogh. I think I've read almost everything she's written now, including her category romances and short stories for Christmas anthologies. Her books are pure pleasure, a warm bath of reading. I can tell when I read her that she loves Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer as much as I do but she isn’t just an imitator. She brings herself to all her book. There’s a Balogh-ness to them of decency and realism and humour. I like that her characters talk to each other about their problems, they try to figure out how to makes lives with each other even after causing each other pain.

My favourite book of her, The Notorious Rake, has as self-loathing a hero as you could ever find and a heroine tangled up in fear and dislike and pity. I read it again not long ago and still loved it. Other books of her that are also wonderful are: The Secret Pearl, Tempting Harriet, Dancing With Clara, and Slightly Dangerous. I generally prefer her standalone category books to her later series books but they're all worth trying because her writing is reliably lovely.

Her newest book, Remember Love, was gorgeous with lots of achy, Balogh longing and characters who have to come to terms with their own failings and judgement of others. Bit of a slow burn to start off with and it's the first of a series so other characters are being set up to have their stories told in the following books but very enjoyable just the same.

Katherine D 25/7/22 Katherine D 25/7/22

Procrastination List

Things I did today to avoid writing:

1. Curled my hair.

2. Talked to my Mum on the phone.

3. Looked at Twitter. Annoyed by Twitter. Typed out responses then deleted them without posting.

4. Put the fire on because it’s nice to be warm when writing.

5. Ate lunch.

6. Tried a new stain remover on my skirt that I spilled shoe polish on.

7. Read the newspaper

8. Stain remover did not work to get shoe polish out of skirt. Soaked skirt in bucket of bleach.

9. Searched eBay for the same skirt just in case I couldn’t get shoe polish out. No luck.

10. Searched Amazon for books on procrastination. Spent half an hour doing this before realising I was now using procrastination itself to procrastinate and should really get some work done. This worked! Finally got some work done in the last hour before leaving to do the school run. Promised myself to do better tomorrow (unlikely).

Katherine D 25/7/22 Katherine D 25/7/22

Secrets of Playboy. A candy pink world of darkness.

I watched Secrets of Playboy recently and it's been in my head ever since. When I was growing up, everyone knew Playboy. Kids and adults alike. It was something older boys and Dads kept at home, it was talked about on TV shows and in movies, it was as ubiquitous and American as Coca-cola or McDonalds. Everyone knew the jokes about reading Playboy just for the articles but I don't remember anyone ever talking about what it was like for the women in that world. Secrets of Playboy does that.

I've never read Playboy, but I did watch the Girls Next Door series when it first screened. An early reality show about Hugh Hefner's three girlfriends, Bridget, Kendra and Holly, I remember slightly baffled about why these young, beautiful women would want to spend their time cooing over an old man shuffling around in his pyjamas and pretending to enjoy backgammon nights with Hef and his old men friends.

It just seemed to be understood back then that this was a fair trade-off - their youth and beauty for his money and power. No one was getting hurt, so it wasn't a big deal. Later, I read Holly Madison's book about her time with Hefner (her role in the Girls Next Door show was to be the baby-crazy one who desperately wanted to marry Hef) so I knew that some women were getting hurt in that world but the Secrets of Playboy documentary covers a longer time period and talks about women in the organisational side of Playboy as well as those posing for the magazine.

Katherine D 28/4/21 Katherine D 28/4/21